Go Topless Day August 21

My friend posted this status on facebook today:

“pet peeve: when parents force their toddler daughters to wear a bikini top at the beach. Its the last time she’s not breaking any laws. Let her be.”

One of MY big pet peeves is the fact that men are allowed to go topless in St. Louis, but women are subject to arrest. This is the norm for the Midwest, and most of the United States.

Why is this?

A possible theory on why women aren’t allowed to go topless: because erect female nipples are a symbol of sexual arousal and readiness, which freaks men out. Even wearing no bra can be an issue.

A guy friend of mine asserts that it’s the female areola that is the problem, not the nipple itself.

Buck Angel, a female-to-male transgender activist, has tons of topless pics on facebook, but I would be violating terms of use if I did the same. He had top surgery and had fat tissue removed, but I’ll bet his nipples are the ones he was born with as a female – I doubt he received a nipple transplant from a bio-male cadaver.

My friend Mark posted a pic of his bare chest on facebook on May 19, in response to a female friend of his getting a photo of her wearing pasties yanked.

It’s certainly not the amount of fat tissue that’s the issue. My man, who has a massively hairy chest at least three times bigger than mine, wonders if he were to get breast implants, would he be subject to arrest if he went topless in public?

August 21 is Go Topless Day. I wanted to lead a public event, but due to my ongoing custody issue, I cannot risk arrest, and no other woman came forward to take this issue on. So, I’ll be going topless that day in a safe zone.

And oh my god, I found out the Go Topless movement is backed by this weird cult called The Raelian Movement?! This wiki article suggests Go Topless Day is a ploy to recruit members. Such a clever strategy. I don’t want someone exploiting my tits for their cult.

I want my OWN cult! If I made The Beautiful Kind a religion, I could get away with so much personal freedom and chalk it up to religious expression. Maybe I could get a topless driver’s license pic like that guy who fought to have his pic taken with a spaghetti strainer on his head in honor of his Flying Spaghetti Monster religion.

One thing I AM doing in order to make topless dreams come true is stage a hairy chest contest at the Bella Bazooka event on August 24. Honestly, it’s just an excuse to surround myself with as many hairy chests as I can, because that is my #1 fetish.

In closing, I wish I could post a pic of myself topless for this post, but I need to remain coy – for now. I really want to see this law changed and topless equality is very important to me and my loved ones.

What is your theory on why the female nipple is so feared? How do I go about getting this law changed? Who do I contact?

If you’d like to request a pic of me topless, please email me, I’m happy to share. I don’t think any part of my body is any more shocking than the rest. And I’d love to see a pic of you topless, too, if you’re so inclined. Especially if you have a hairy chest.

“First is the worst! Second is the best! Third is the one with the hairy chest!” – childhood rhyme

PS: I posted the pic below of me worshiping my friend RawLion’s awesome chest on my TBK facebook page a couple months ago and it was removed for being offensive. Did they mistake him for a girl or something?!