Nudism, Sex and Me, Part 3

This is a guest post by Magnum Chlenov, a Russian-American computer programmer living in St. Louis. In addition to being a sex-positive nudist, he is a fan of Doctor Who, Harry Potter and the Big Bang Theory, a stamp collector, an amateur author, an alternate historian and a fantasy hockey manager. He is happily engaged to a fellow sex-positive nudist. His Twitter account is @MagnumChlenov.

The "N" word - nudism!

Continued from Part 2

When I “came out” to my father about being a nudist, I told him that there was nothing sexual about it.

“Really?” He didn’t believe me. “But when you see all these nude women, don’t you…”

“No, I don’t automatically get an erection,” I laughed.

However, my Dad didn’t laugh back.

“So a nudist man doesn’t get an erection when he sees a naked woman?” he exclaimed. “That’s horrible!”

And he wasn’t the only one who found nudist asexuality somewhat unsettling. When I met my fiancée and told her how wonderful, pure and relaxing nudism is, she liked my story, but immediately started having doubts about our future sex life. What if nudism had made me desensitized to nudity and damaged my sex drive forever?

Fortunately, these doubts were dispelled very soon. My sexuality wasn’t damaged by nudism in the least.

Because nudism is not completely asexual.

Let’s face it, I was not raised as a nudist from childhood. Before I became a nudist, I had been a textile (that’s what we call non-nudists) for 39 years. In my subconsciousness, female breasts and genitals will always be associated with sex.

I do NOT stare at boobs or pussies in a nudist environment. But I do look. I do admire the breasts, the nipples, the pubic area. And there is indeed no need to stare. A quick look, and that’s enough. Move to the next one.

Or look at someone’s face. And just talk to her. Or him. Just enjoy nude relaxation and liberation.

Of course, I don’t masturbate while looking, but who can stop me from remembering the naked women later, when I am back in the privacy of my own home?

And I still use nudist magazines and online photos as visual masturbatory aids. No, becoming a nudist myself did not change that in the least.

*  *  *

Now, back to that “coming out” conversation with my father. When I proudly told him about my liberation from unnecessary and artificial barriers, his reaction was priceless:

“So, what’s next? Homosexuality?”

I was stunned, being completely unable to understand the connection.

“Well,” he elaborated, “If one barrier goes, why not another?”

I patiently explained to Dad that no, I was not going to become gay. Not because of some barriers, but simply because I like pussy, not cock. And, by the way, he eventually relented and stopped being upset. In the end of that day, he even asked, “So, how do I join?” albeit jokingly.

The point is that my father saw nudism as a sort of gateway, as something that is relatively harmless by itself, but can lead to… other things.

Yes, like marijuana. The legalization opponents also claim it’s a “gateway drug”.

My brother also thought my nudism would become a gateway. Not to homosexuality, but to something more sexual than nudism itself.

And he was right.

Once, I videochatted with some of my nudist friends, and one of them mentioned another site he used to go to.

“It used to be nudist-friendly, but not anymore!” he complained. “It’s become sexual. You won’t believe some of the things people do on cam there.”

“Oh, really?” I tried to sound nonchalantly. “What’s the name again? The name of that site I should avoid?”

Needless to say, I googled that site right away. And it did turn out to be quite a site. Some of adult chat rooms there allowed cursing but no nudity. Others allowed nudity but no “wanking” (masturbating on cam). And the best rooms not only allowed wanking, but even encouraged it.

Of course, I started frequenting those wank-friendly rooms, where most men (including me) would normally wank, while some women would show boobs and sometimes pussy.

So, yeah, nudism can definitely be a gateway to sex. At least to cybersex.

*  *  *

On the other hand, nudism can be an impediment to sex as well.

At my favorite nudist resort, my fiancée and I quickly discovered that we had to be careful. Even intensive kissing could be perceived by others as “sexual”. And any physical contact could potentially lead to an erection, which would be noticed by everyone.

And dancing? Imagine holding a woman – your woman! – tightly. Oh yeah, and both of you are naked.

Plus, even looking at my nude fiancée was more erotic than looking at other women. True, I had already seen her naked many times. However, unlike all other nudist women, she is not just an acquaintance or a friend. She is the love of my life, my one and only sexual partner, the Yin to my Yang. Of course, I am more likely to get hard while looking at her!

Well, we held hands, we sat together on a couch, we even danced… and I still managed to avoid an erection. And overall, going to the resort with my beloved fiancée was still the best nudist experience ever.

*  *  *

As you can see, nudism can have both sexual and non-sexual aspects. Yes, it can lead a nudist to more sexual behavior – but it can also force one to keep metaphorical pants on.

So, is nudism sexual?

Yes and no.

Just like the real world. The textile one.

In real life, there are two sides. Public and private. In public, there is no sex. No sane person is going to have sex with others (or oneself) on a city street or in a public park. After all, offending others is a really bad idea. When in a public place, you obey public rules. Pure and simple.

In private, however, you do as you wish – provided your partners are consenting adults as well. You can watch porn, masturbate, fuck, and even have an orgy (provided you find playmates). Or you can lead a sexless, pornless, non-orgasmic life – and be happy leading it. It’s none of anyone else’s business.

So, your real life might be either sexual or asexual – whatever you make it. If you’re a sexual being, you get your sexual pleasure in private, while not offending asexual people in public. If you’re an asexual person, then you stay away from sex – both in public and in private. Everyone’s happy.

And nudism is no different. In public nudist places, be it a nude beach or a nudist resort, everyone is following the no-sex rules. If you are a sexual nudist, you can have your sexual fun in private. If you are an asexual one, no one will bother you and make you uncomfortable. Again, everybody’s happy.

Of course, the ubiquitous nudity might enhance sexual pleasure – but so what? Yes, a nudist man might admire a nudist woman’s body in a sexual way – and then later even use that memory while jerking off. No harm done — she won’t even know about it.

I don’t think there is a definite, set-in-stone relationship between nudism and sexuality at all. By itself, nudism is neither a sexual lifestyle nor an asexual one. Just like a textile, a nudist can be a sexual dynamo or a sexless bore. Whether nudism enhances one’s sex life, impedes it, or has no bearing on it, really depends on the specific individual.

Posted in body image, clothing optional, ethics, guest blog, sex positive and tagged , , , , , .