I Am NOT a Sex Addict – Part 1


Caveh Zahedi's "I Am a Sex Addict"

by David Wraith

I’m a big fan of Iranian American filmmaker Caveh Zahedi. He worked under the mainstream radar for years, making confessional documentaries for the film festival/ movie geek crowd (people like me). Then one night, to my great surprise, I turned on the radio and heard Caveh being interviewed on Loveline with Dr. Drew. He was promoting his latest film, I Am a Sex Addict, and it made perfect sense that this would have drawn the attention of Dr. Drew Pinsky, host of VH1’s Sex Rehab.

Now, for a lot of filmmakers, making a movie with a title as provocative as I Am a Sex Addict would feel like a calculated marketing move, but given Caveh’s history of making uncomfortably intimate films detailing his issues with food, drugs, women and his own family, I’m inclined to believe that I Am a Sex Addict was just part of his natural evolution as an artist specializing in too much information. The movie is funny, odd and embarrassing in ways that only a Caveh Zahedi film can be (one of his earlier films, I Don’t Hate Las Vegas Anymore, documents Caveh tripping on ecstasy with his immigrant father). I Am a Sex Addict by Caveh Zahedi; Netflix that shit!

Alas, the main subject of this post is not Caveh Zahedi, but as per usual, the subject is me. I, by way of contrast, am not a sex addict, although the accusation has been made.

Several years ago, my lover at the time suggested I attend Sex Addicts Anonymous meetings. It raised no red flags for her when my first question was whether these meetings were co-ed or segregated by gender. I respectfully declined on the grounds that A.) I was not a sex addict and B.) Putting me in an environment with female sex addicts was probably not the best thing for our relationship.

Then came this exchange with another lover of mine:

Her: Can I ask you a question?
Me: Sure.
Her: Do you think you’re a sex addict?
Me: No.
Her: Can I ask you another question?
Me: Sure.
Her: Why do you think you’re not a sex addict?

Just in the past year, I’ve had two rather heated arguments with another friend who accused me of being a sex addict. Her only basis for this accusation seemed to be that I am non-monogamous, currently in several open relationships and have an above average interest in sex. (Oh, I should mention that after the second argument, she ended up in bed with me.)

David Wraith will return in the exciting conclusion: Part 2, I’m Still Not a Sex Addict (I Just Crush a Lot). Until next week,

Bye sexuals.

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9 Comments

  1. Link dropping! http://thebeautifulkind.com/columns/article/are-you-sex-addict

    http://thebeautifulkind.com/columns/tbk-saga/am-i-sex-addict-or-just-awesome

    People think I’m a sex addict all the time. I’m not. I think an addict is someone who lets their hobby/interest/hedonistic indulgence interfere with their job/responsibilities/obligations. I say as long as you take care of your responsibilities, you can have as much fun as you want. I’m a balanced person who doesn’t waste time feeling guilty.

  2. This is a great post, David, and I’m looking forward to the second one. The sex addict label infuriates me; I can remember reading an article in the RFT more than a decade ago about sex addicts and thinking that I was one. I was still a teenager, going through what I recognize now as a perfectly healthy sexual stage, and resigned myself to being a sex addict. If only I could go back and have a discussion with 14-16 year old me, I could have gotten over a lot of shit a lot faster.

  3. Pingback: Sex Positive St. Louis » Blog Archive » I Am NOT a Sex Addict – Part 2

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