The Dick Chronicles: Stupid Dick Tricks

The stapler will make sense later, trust me.

by David Wraith

I remember the first really dumb thing I ever did with my dick. It had nothing to do with a woman I was sticking it in. It was at a meeting of an organization called PEP (People Exchanging Power) in the upper floor of a gay bar called Magnolia’s. I was attending a class on electrical play, sexual stimulation with a TENS unit. When the instructor asked for a female volunteer from the audience to allow the TENS unit to be demonstrated on her, the male dominants in the room were eager to offer up their female submissives. But when the instructor, a man I had never met, asked for a male volunteer to have electric current run through his dick, no one would step up to the plate.  So I did. The instructor asked me to pull my pants down, but even before I knew the word, I was against shirt-cocking, so I got completely naked in a bar full of strangers and let this man put electrodes on my dick.

He ran a low electric current through my dick. It felt kind of like a vibrator. Then, without asking me, he turned to the crowd and said, “Want to hear him scream?”  And before I could say, “Say what?” He cranked the dial on the TENS unit as far as it could go, my dick involuntarily jumped and I almost leaped out of my skin. Before the pain even registered, he turned it back down to zero. All in a day’s work.

You see, I’m that guy. When a volunteer was needed to be water-boarded for a class on torture, I signed up. Once again, I was naked in a room full of strangers having some very strange and intense things being done to me for the very first time.

So, when I heard that Tori Storii was looking for a demo-bottom to get his dick stapled for her stapling class at Bound in Boston, and couldn’t find a man on the entire eastern seaboard to volunteer, I signed up.

Six easy steps. Photos courtesy of Tori Storii.

I flew into to Boston on Friday night and on Sunday afternoon I was once again naked in front of a room full of strangers, letting a woman I’d only met two days prior put staples in my dick. I took fourteen staples that day, four in each thigh and six in the dick.

"True friends stab you of in the front." - Oscar Wilde. Photo courtesy of Tori Storii.

Why would anyone allow these things to be done to him? One word: marketing! Yes, there’s a certain PT Barnum aspect to it. You may have noticed that the advertising budget here at Sex Positive HQ leaves a lot to be desired. If I can make a lasting impression on my target demographic by letting my dick get electrocuted, stapled or bound in rope and tied to my nipple rings (yes, it happed), then so be it. Orson Welles had “War of the Worlds,” Michael Jackson had his oxygen chamber, Paris Hilton had her sex tape, and I have my dick.


  1. Are you fucking kidding me????? No, you’re not. You have pics to prove it.

    Keep things provocative, David!

    I’m sending my man Matthew your dick series so he can catch up with all the madness. He’s been experimenting with yohimbe and horny goat. He wants to try viagra and cialis

  2. Yohimbe never worked for me. The first time I took Horny Goat Weed, I didn’t sleep for three days (to be fair, I had taken other supplements with it). The only not prescription supplement that’s ever worked for me was L-Arginine.

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