by David Wraith
Two things in life that you don’t have to sell are sex and chocolate. They sell themselves; you merely have to offer them. So, you’d think that selling delicious, chocolate-covered desserts off the nearly naked bodies of some of St. Louis’s hottest bloggers and performers would be a no-brainer, right?
One question? How do you market it? You should have sat in on some of the conversations we had at SEX+HQ on what to call this thing. Everybody knows what naked sushi is, you eat sushi off of someone’s naked body. It’s been done enough that people recognize the term. But what do you call it when it’s not sushi? We went through “naked candy sushi,” “naked buffet,” and finally settled on “naked dessert bar,” with the full knowledge that no one would know what the hell we were talking about.
Well, put simply, we’ll be using sexy naked people as human dessert trays during our Queen of Hearts ball. If you get all hot and bothered by the eye-candy on display, don’t worry. Maybe you’ll sweat off some of the calories from the actually candy.
I spoke to Amy Holmes-Simmons, the official Naked Dessert Bar Chocolatier of Queen of Hearts, about why she does what she does.
David Wraith: Why would anyone want to eat off a naked person?
Amy Holmes-Simmons: Eating is one of the most sensual things we can do. We use our own fingers to eat with, we lick the sticky bits that are left behind from sweets. We feed bites of breakfast in bed to a lover to pamper them. To eat something as delicious as a chocolate covered strawberry, from the nude body of a beautiful model, is a sensual thrill. There is the visual aspect of the nudity, which excites, there is the taste of the food, which delights and there is the voyeuristic aspect, people are seeing this happen, wanting to feel this feeling, taste this taste.
Have you ever had problems getting models?
I have had a model cancel because he was recognized at an event, before his session, by someone whom he worked with and he was uncomfortable. I understood and luckily found an equally amazing replacement 15 minutes later.
How long have you been doing this?
I have been making erotic cakes & candies since 2008. But my art work has always had a sexual theme, a sensual current, whether the medium is candy, clay, or cloth.
Where does your passion for this type of work come from?
I love seeing the look on someones face when they bite into a juicy sweet chocolate dipped piece of fruit, that look is as close as it gets to seeing what they might look like if they had just been touched by a lover for the first time. That’s the look, anticipated until the bite, the burst of sweetness, that is on the face of a woman who knows exactly what she wants and knows she is going to get it. I love to give mouth-gasms.
If you could cover any naked person, living or dead, excluding your husband, with chocolates, who would it be?
Frida Khalo. She’s always been one of my crushes from history, and I think she’d be down for it.
So come to Queen of Hearts and feast from the dessert tray of your choice:
Writer, comedian and nudist, Tastyleisti of the I Like Doing the Dishes blog.
Burlesque performer and roller derby queen, Kat Shenanigan of the Thunder Kittens.
Blow Job 3 cover model and clothing optional party impresario, Christopher Stephens.
And, yours truly.
I was SO impressed with the specialty desserts Amy created for the beautiful naked dessert bar at Queen of Hearts Ball! I only got to taste a couple – a chocolate covered strawberry and a pomegranate and white chocolate covered cherry – how do I get in touch with her so I can taste more? Does she have a website or email address?
I’ve put together quite a few sensual menus involving fruits, desserts, chocolates, cheeses, and wines for parties. I was thoroughly impressed with the quality of the desserts Miss Holmes-Simmons put together. The interplay between the soft fruits contrasted with the crisp chocolates and flaky pastry shells covered all the major sensual textures. The pomegranate seed pastry held together with a sticky sweet filling in the crisp shell was simply amazing!
Give me a shout if you ever want to trade thoughts.