A reader asks:
I’m a St. Louis resident and I have been told by several women that I need to shave. I’m not sure what they mean by this, whether I need to shave my pubic area or my whole body? I have attached a picture of myself. Please let me know if you find me too hairy.
Johnny Murdoc responds:
Thank you for your question!
Before I say anything else, I’ll say this: you do not need to shave your body. No one, even Robin Williams, needs to shave his or her body. And you’re a long way from Robin-Williams-level body hair. (On a scale of 1 to 10, where 1 is a hairless cat and 10 is a gorilla, you’re a 4 or 5.) Whether or not you want to shave your body is up to you and, in some very limited ways, your partner.
To read more of Johnny’s advice, and to see the reader’s NOT SAFE FOR WORK photo, click below:
Seriously, graphic nudity below!
If you would like to shave (which generally covers anything from trimming to down-to-the-skin shaving), then you should. It’s your body and, just like with many other topics, you should do with it as you please. It can be a fun, sexy experience and give you a new perspective on your body.
If your partner would like you to shave, and shaving is a price you’re willing to pay for admission, then you should consider it. I don’t think anyone should do anything just because their partner wants them to, but making compromises is how you make relationships work. As to whether your partner is referring to trimming your bush, a full-on shave, or a complete body waxing, that’s a conversation you need to have with your partner. You can even go so far as to involve your partner in the shaving process (although you should make sure you trust a person who might be bringing trimmers or—eek!—a razor near your genitals completely).
However, if your partner is making sex (or worse, love) conditional on your shaving, this is probably a good sign that you should find a new partner. If a person can’t take your body in its natural state, he or she probably isn’t worth sleeping with, and probably won’t be all that reliable when shit gets real a few years down the line. If a bushy bush is too much for them now, imagine how they’re going to react when you start to wrinkle or put on a few pounds.
Body hair is something that goes in and out of fashion, just like facial hair and shoe styles. You have to remember, first and foremost, that it’s your body. If you don’t want to shave it, don’t. Find a sex partner who won’t care. I can promise you that they exist out there. My opinion as a gay man probably doesn’t hold much weight with you, but I’m a fan of body hair. I know that our own Kendra Holliday also digs body hair in a big way.
Additionally, here’s one thing to keep in mind: if you trim or shave, your body hair will come back. (Not so much with laser hair removal, but let’s not do anything drastic.) There may be no harm in trying it out. Just be confident of your motives when you do, and make sure you’re doing it for the right reasons (which is to say, a reason that you’re comfortable doing it for.)
You can ask SEX+STL questions, too! We won’t publish your question, our answer, or any photographs without explicit permission. We would, however, like to recommend letting us address your question in a blog post, so that others can benefit from your perspective and our response.