BossBondage will be in town April 1 presenting classes at The Facility! Though he is also a piercing expert, these classes will be focused on learning the ropes: Intro to Western Shibari and Bedroom Bondage.
I asked him some questions in order to get a better handle on what he’s all about:
Kendra Holliday: You say in your website bio that you were kinky well before your adult life. That’s intriguing! What were you like as a kid?
BossBondage: I guess I was like most other kids, I just seemed to be more attracted to sex a little earlier than most. So, by the time most kids were experimenting with sex, I was already active and experimenting with kink; I got a head start.
KH: How did you get in touch with your inner sadist?
BB: First off, I stopped denying it. I struggled for many years with wanting to hurt girls (and sometimes boys), and with society telling me it was wrong to have these desires. Once I decided that these feelings inside me were okay, and that I should let the demons come out to play, it was all pretty easy and my kinky life opened up quite a bit.
KH: Do you think true sadists are rare?
BB: I hate the word true attached to anything kinky, yet it is still a word we use to describe the difference between levels of playing with pain. Yes, I do think that “true” sadists are rare. I see so many people who think a few slaps on a bottom make them a sadist, but until you deal with real pain, it’s hard to fully grasp sadism. In a lot of my classes I use the word torture, because so much of my play time is spent torturing people. Let’s be honest, when you play very heavy this shit hurts. Instead of shying away from a word like torture and trying to make it more accessible and palatable, I embrace it. I am okay admitting that torturing cute young girls turns me on. Maybe it turns you on too. As long as you have a willing partner, then you may be very lucky
KH: What’s a particularly crazy example of something sadistic you’ve done?
BB: Like I said, I embrace the word torture in my play. I routinely use a single tail on my partners and beat them to a bloody pulp. Some of my partners like blood, some of them like bruises and marks, some like scars. Using torture in your BDSM life is all about a connection and trust with your partner. That they can trust you to take them that far, and that you can trust them to go there with you.
KH: And this is what you do for a living?
BB: What, your high school guidance counselor didn’t tell you that you could make a living traveling the world tying people up and teaching bondage?
Well neither did mine, I am one of the rare people who gets to do something they truly love for a living. Sometimes it’s like an actual job, it’s travel intensive and I sometimes work long hours…but it has it’s perks.
KH: Are you afraid of anything?
BB: Despite tying people up for a living, I am just like everyone else and have fears. It’s not spiders I am afraid of, or closed spaces, but something bad happening to my family and loved ones.
KH: How did you get into rope?
BB: I played with rope a little when I was younger, and will always use it to tie people up to fuck them or beat them, but it wasn’t until I got with my slave 8 years ago that I really got into rope for beauty, and rope for the sake of rope. After a few years I discovered that a few pieces of rope could do just about anything I wanted. Once I found that it satisfied the sadist in me, my toy bag started shrinking. Give me a few pieces of rope and a stick, and I am a happy man.
KH: What’s the appeal of rope? What’s your favorite part about it?
BB: To me it’s art. I like that I can take a person and use rope on them like someone who molds clay. I can bend and twist my partner, and put them into just about any position I want. I am not a rope fetishist in the traditional sense though. I love rope, I love what it can do, but it’s not about the rope to me. I use the rope as a tool, just like a sculptor would use tools, but I want the focus to be the person, not the rope. I am a rope minimalist, I often use as little rope as possible to accomplish my goal, I want the rope to almost be an after thought. The person is the art, not the rope.
KH: What does it mean to be President of a group called West Coast Assholes?
BB: It’s a group I started a few years ago, it’s been fun and interesting. Most of us are all BDSM educators, so we try and educate on edge play as much as we can. We are kind of a rag tag group with members spread throughout the country. It’s not much different than a lot of kinky people who find friends in the scene….we just have hats is all.
KH: You seem to be open to just about anything, including blood and electrocution. Do you have any hard limits?
BB: I have been a body piercer for a long time, so I have a healthy fear of blood. That’s why blood play is so sexy, cause it’s dangerous.
I have been electrocuted, that shit hurts…..but come on who doesn’t like tazing naked girls in very sensitive parts of their bodies? Anyone?……………..Bueller?
KH: You have a pretty intimidating image. Are people afraid of attending your events? Do you only torture people who ask you to, and teach the rest?
BB: I suppose that’s part of the show right? In this business we all have an image we portray, think of us as carnies with sticks. People are sometimes intimidated because I play so rough, but I spent years learning the rules before I started breaking them. I can play and teach from the very basic, soft and gentle on up through the advanced rough and tumble. While I do love playing rough, I revel in teaching people new things and opening up their sex lives. One of my most favorite things is teaching someone who is brand new to all this and seeing the excitement on their faces as they learn, knowing their life is forever changed. I love pushing limits, but I don’t focus on pushing my own, rather other people’s limits. Everyone is different; from light to heavy, I love it all.
KH: Who are your role models/heros?
BB: Kink wise, Randa Mai from Japan is the best bondage person out there. I am not big on hero worship with the Japanese guys, I don’t think a lot of them are all that great. They don’t get a free pass just because they are Japanese, but that guy is the man.
Non kink wise, Martin Luther King Jr., was always a big inspiration to me growing up. I am a huge fan of music, and Johnny Cash and Elvis have always been important to me.
KH: Have you ever been suspended?
BB: There was really no one in my community who did bondage when I started, so I had to suspend myself.
I think my style developed because I didn’t take classes or read books, I just got some rope and starting tying people up, eventually I got okay at it.
KH: Can you tell us a little of what to expect at your April 1 event here in St. Louis? There will be a lot of newbies – you’ll be gentle with us, right?
BB: Aww come on now. Do you really want me to be gentle?
I am planning a workshop on sex bondage. So many bondage for sex classes are about tying people to bed posts. This class won’t be about that, it’s more about tying someone up and fucking them, not fucking someone who is tied up.
The other class is an introduction to Japanese style bondage, which can be intimidating. We are going to approach it in a way I think everyone can enjoy and will make them want to keep practicing it. There won’t be a history lecture or 27 knots to learn, and it won’t take an hour to do one tie.
Now, don’t you want to be BossBondage’s friend? You can friend him on FetLife here. RSVP to his April 1 event by emailing boss @ bossbondage .com