by David Wraith
Note: This is part two of my “I’m in Love with Midori” series. Part one can be read here.
If you ask Midori where she lives, she’ll probably tell you that her mail is delivered to San Francisco, but she lives on an airplane. As a full time, traveling sex educator, Midori’s classroom is the world. I imagine her life to be like that of the George Clooney character in Up in the Air, only sexier (instead of firing people, she’s teaching them how to have better sex. And /or, tying them up and hanging them from the ceiling).
Catching up with Midori is a game of international intrigue, full of false starts, dead ends, and shifty go-betweens. (Okay, not really. Unless you consider Andy and Michelle of Shameless Grounds to be shifty go-betweens. For the record, they’re lovely people.) I caught up with her somewhere between London, Copenhagen, Bath and San Francisco, all of which she would be visiting in the five days before her arrival in St. Louis.
Midori will be presenting “Pink Japan: Contemporary Sex Culture,” Thursday, November 17th, 2011 at 7:30 pm at Shameless Grounds. She’ll be presenting Beyond Twisted – Kink Outside the Box and Bondage Outside of the Box at Spanksgiving.
David Wraith: How does one become a traveling sexpert? I missed that booth on career day.
Midori: First, you have to be crazy enough to believe that one can make a difference, and be willing to live in a permanent state of jet lag. It’s not a pre-existing career path. I seem to have made a full-time job out of what some people usually do for occasional fun. Obviously, those people have far more good sense than I do. But I absolutely love what I do – I wake up each day thrilled to go to work.
On the surface what I do is teaching about sexually fulfilling living. But underlying it all is sharing the tools, perspectives, and joy of a philosophy of creative living I’ve developed over the years.
Here in the Midwest, there are lots of fem-doms, but few female rope riggers? Do you see that in other places and if so, what’s up with that?
I’ve heard reports from various places on the perceived lack of women riggers. However, upon some digging, I’ve discovered this to be more of a sampling and labeling issue, not an actual dearth.
There are a lot more women who top with rope all over than it would seem from just sampling or surveying online.
There’s quite a bit of gender bias with online discussion groups of rope. For various reasons men who top with rope spend a lot more time than women, incidentally and longitudinally, talking about rope and their play online. Many men seem to find the online resource and discussion format to be helpful and relevant to research and self-expression. Whereas, just about all the women I’ve investigated this topic with reported that they will seek some information online but soon move on to hands-on rope time and find discussions online to of diminishing benefit over time. Some have even reported that some of the online rope discussion groups to have a social climate unwelcoming to women or have uncomfortable gender stereotyping assumptions. So many of the women leave the list or don’t participate much. Sadly, this gives the impression to many people, new rope loving women included, that they are but a few around – which isn’t the case.
On the matter of semantics, I’ve also found that fewer women are drawn to being labeled or self-labeling as “riggers.” So many women play beautifully with rope yet don’t necessarily embrace the term “rigger.” Many women, including some of the finest rope players, see their pleasures of rope as part of their overall top skills instead of being singular in their focus.
So, Pink Japan: Why should we xenophobic westerners care about what’s going on in the Far East?
Aren’t we all curious about wild and weird ways others “do it?” Wouldn’t we all like to know better and new ways to have hot sex? Don’t you want to know about the naughty travel destinations that no guide book will ever tell you? I’m your personal tour guide to the erotic subculture of Japan! Yes, I mean this metaphorically and literally.
I see a theme in your Spanksgiving classes of “outside the box.” What are the boxes that kinky folk find ourselves in and can we get out of them?
Kinky or not, we’re all human, and it’s easy to get stuck in rut. Ruts make for very boring sex and living after a while. We have to fend off the evil powers of rut, boredom and diminishing joy.
I know you have a wife and everything, but, will you marry me?
If you can fit in a suitcase and can travel with me, let’s talk!
“Sadly, this gives the impression to many people, new rope loving women included, that they are but a few around – which isn’t the case.”
This has frustrated me immensely, and I’m not even a rope-rigger (yet). My thought was “gee, why would I want to be associated with this activity that seems to only attract sexist douchebags?” Glad to see that’s not the case.