Here is what I am thankful for this holiday season:
1. My extended family
My entire family knows who I am, what I am about, and accepts me. I am surrounded by love.
2. My partner
He knows me better than I do. He soaks up my anxieties and keeps me sane. He’s so magnificent, all he has to do is leave a comment on a blog post and he gets hit on (see this post, scroll to bottom). And here I thought cockshots were the way to a woman’s heart! 😉
3. My daughter
She’s so incredibly bright, creative, special and different. I call her my “MagicWeirdoChild.” She is being raised sex-positive, which means she loves her body and sees sex as a perfectly natural, pleasurable pasttime for older people. She looks forward to experiencing it someday, on her own terms. (See The Mango Talk: Sex Positive Conversations with Children!)
4. My home
I almost lost my home this year. Every time I hung a curtain or picture on the wall, I sadly wondered how long it would get to stay. Being out of full-time work for three years, my savings were exhausted. I took out a big loan on my credit card as a final means of paying my mortgage. I was running out of options. Then at the last minute, I was offered a job opportunity. I’m so happy I get to keep my cozy little fairy cottage where I have everything just so, instead of packing everything up, putting it in storage and squatting in someone’s basement.
5. My job
My job is a miraculous place – it’s located in St. Louis and doesn’t care about its employees’ personal lives. They love people, culture, learning, and don’t sweat the small stuff. My website and activism is a non-issue! I love my quirky work family! And after years of running miscellaneous modeling checks to the bank, I LOVE direct deposit!
6. The St. Louis sex-positive community
I love being immersed in a guilt and shame-free zone. I love our safe spaces in St. Louis such as the LGBT Center and Shameless Grounds. I love that we can host events that cover a wide range of sexuality topics. I love when a room is filled with sex-positive energy, like the SEX+STL Out Loud event was. I feel so proud! With three local bloggers making the Top 100 Sex Bloggers List, I truly feel we are catching up to the East and West coast in terms of being progressive and having a wide variety of fantastic cultural events.
7. My body
I love my body best when it’s unclothed. I don’t differentiate between the various parts – my elbows are equal to my breasts. I love my soft skin, my curves, my ability to experiment with different hairstyles and costumes. I love how much pleasure it allows me, and am in awe of my good health.
8. My Hitachi Magic Wand
I have many amazing sex toys, but Hitachi is my constant companion. I use it to energize myself in the morning when I wake up, and in the evening to make me all warm and tingly right before I fall asleep, and any other time I get the urge. Talk about a good investment!
9. My laptop/phone/internet
Those are my two pieces of technology, and I use them both constantly to write, keep in touch with friends all over the world, watch sex documentaries and more. My laptop is my lifeline.
10. My freedom of expression
One of my consultation clients is a man in Egypt. He is married, works in a conservative office, and has fantasies of being a slave to women. Keeping his fantasies in check make him sick – he often feels like crying, or screaming. He feels lost, isolated, depressed. Many people who have sex secrets feels this way.
I love that I can put my face and name to deeply personal stories like these. I so appreciate being fully integrated and that I am able to be myself. I hope that by making a public example of my way of life, society will call off the morality police and other people will be inspired to take steps to come out and enjoy the freedom of being themselves.