Clothing Optional Meet Up – Fleshtivus Dec 13!

Good thing the party is indoors! Brrr!

So these clothing optional parties we’ve been hosting have turned into one of our most popular events!

They each have a fun theme, and so far, have been in a different location every time.

Our next one is scheduled for December 13 6:30-9:30pm, at a private residence in South City. The theme is


The event is FREE, but each guest needs to bring a wrapped gag gift to exchange, and we’ll take turns airing our wrongs. Bring a snack and drink as well!

There are a few rules in place with these clothing optional get togethers.

1. One of the founders of SEX+STL – Anna, Johnny, David, or me – needs to have met you face-to-face in order for you to attend.

2. Be aware of personal boundaries. These are social get togethers, not play parties.

3. Be respectful of others. Some of the things you have to consider at clothing optional parties: Is it appropriate to hug as a greeting? Shake hands? If you’re not sure, ask!

We’ve had men and women from ages 20-70 attend, from all walks of life. It’s a really fun way to express your creative, naked self, and hang out with like-minded people.

I have to let you in on a little something: every time we announce one of these, we have men RSVPing that day. The women tend to RSVP the week before, so it ends up being a pretty even gender balance, but it can be a little unpredictable, like watching a horse race. The men are lined up, with the women casually sauntering in. All this is to say – the more women, the merrier! RSVP to kendra @thebeautifulkind .com

Let me ask you – why do you think men appear to be so much more eager to attend parties like this? I have my theories, but would like to hear what you think.

Meanwhile, I can’t wait to see a bunch of naked people running around wearing Santa hats and tinsel! No pasties – no problem!

From the last party. I'm in the top left! Surrounded by sock-positive people!


  1. I had an awesome time! This is only my second time attending one of these & it was even better than the first. They are always full of positive friendly people and I always make a new friend or two! I am eagerly awaiting Fleshtivus!

  2. On behalf of Brent and myself–thanks so much for everything on Monday night Kendra! We both really enjoyed ourselves very much, and on a personal note–I learned a lot about myself that night. All positive as well! Can’t wait for Fleshtivus–for the rest of us! *lol* I really feel a lot comfortable and much better about myself now!

  3. I’ve never been to any of these events, but I’d love to go to one and see how it is! I’ve been to Shameless Grounds once, but I doubt I met the right person/people. If you or any of the required people to meet will be at Shameless Grounds this weekend, please let me know. I’d love to meet sooner so I don’t forget and then am not able to atend. 🙂

  4. Fun Fact: I posted this today and three more men immediately signed up and offered their speculation as to why men are more eager to attend naked parties than women – because men are clueless/don’t care about their appearance and women have been beaten down by society to feel too scared to get naked even if they are really hot.

    I’d also like to add that perhaps men like looking at naked women more than women like looking at naked men. What do you think?

    Heather, please email David Wraith for a chance to meet so you can attend. He is at SG more than any of us. Thank you! davidwraith

  5. I have a totally different theory on the party replies. (I’m female.)

    I tend to rsvp late, because there are a lot of other things going on in my life and I need to balance my individual choices with what other people need of me / from me. When an event is a week or less away, I can respond with more certainty and be less likely to have to cancel and disappoint someone at the last minute. This is regardless of whether the party involves nakedness or sexy fun, both of which I’m strongly in favor of. But I’m simply less free to make solo plans for me, far ahead of time.

    It could be that the women are more likely to be balancing competing needs (and sometimes childcare) and need more time to make arrangements and a final decision on attendance.

  6. I wouldn’t mind going to one of these, but being a large woman, I get looked down enough when i am wearing clothes! Too many think a hot body should be the only one naked, and they use large women to make funny cards with, like the ones squishing men under a mound of fat.

  7. I have to respectfully disagree with Silky’s theory. I think it’s gender based and deeper than scheduling. I just did a search on The 100,000 plus profiles on the site are divided by men, women and couples. There were approximately 95,000 profiles for men and 7,000 profiles for women. I think men are just more cavalier about being naked, more visually stimulated by seeing others naked and less effected by body image issues.

  8. Karen, I think you’ll find in SEX+STL a group that accepts people of all shapes and sizes. If you’re still hesitant to get your kit off in a room full us, you might want to check out one of our public events first if you haven’t already.

  9. Just realized there’s a discussion question in here. After reading through the other comments, I think if I were a woman, I’d be questioning whether there was a culture being fostered which supports women as sexual objects and men as sexual subjects. Unfortunately, the male gaze is the default state in our society, so actively supporting the reverse culture of “we’re all in this together” requires extra vigilance and self-awareness, going above and beyond the call of duty.

  10. David, you are my kind of numbers-nerd!

    I just did a similar look, though just of “Certified” members. In our local area.

    Of the 38 profiles I found, 1 was a single woman. 4 were couples. The rest? Yup, you guessed it: the other 33 profiles were single men.

    That’s almost 7 out of every 8 local Certified members.

    Silky, I acknowledge your point: some of the women who are comfortable with nudity may simply be unable to make a firm time commitment that far in advance.

    Still, I cannot help but think that far fewer women are comfortable with nudity than men.

  11. I just realized that I’m a little unclear on one thing: “airing our wrongs.” What little I know about the Seinfeld Show “Festivus” includes “the airing of grievances,” that awkward part of some family gatherings in which people complain about “all the ways you have disappointed me” — usually by parents to their adult children.

    So … what “wrongs” are in mind, here? Maybe, things that people/society have done to make us feel bad about things like COMUs?

  12. I think men are worried they will be turned away if they don’t RSVP right away. Maybe the party will fill up or will be too gender-unbalanced for more men. Naked women almost never have trouble getting an invite to a party at the last minute.

  13. I have to concur with both The Nerd and Robin. Also, I do think that this is just another manifestation of the way men and women are socialized differently across the board. Even in non nudist, no sexual situations. I’m dealing in gross, gender based stereotypes here, but men and women are often different in problem solving, communication, business, etc. I can only assume that with issues as charged as body acceptance and public nudity, men and women will behave as differently as society had treated them.

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