Editor’s Note: This guest post by my friend and occasional lover, Wink, is the first in the “I Fucked David Wraith” series. Wink and I met at Beat Me in St. Louis and bonded over the fact that we both suffer from panic attacks and are wary of large crowds.
Ever hear the old saying about how sex is like pancakes?
“No matter how good the recipe is, sometimes you have to throw out the first batch.”
Now as far as I’m concerned, sex with David Wraith is made from a perfect recipe: He’s a brilliant, honest, funny, passionate, very sexy man. I enjoy his company tremendously in every possible way. And if I may say so, I’m no slouch myself. We *both* brought the goods for a delicious mix.
But while I definitely wouldn’t “throw out” our first (and only) sexual encounter — far from it! — I know we could do better. I’m convinced that we have the potential for great sex together. But this first time, the night as a whole was great, but the sex itself was… good. Not great, but good.
I’m far from a blushing virgin. I’m an experienced, reasonably confident woman, with a sex drive that would sink a battleship and some skills to back it up. And God alone knows how much I had been looking forward to this! But when I think back to that night, one of the things that really stands out is how nervous I was when the clothes started coming off.
When I first started getting to know David as more than just the guy from FetLife whose pictures made me drool, all I can say is, I quickly developed a pretty hard crush on him. Then he went and shocked the hell out of me by expressing some attraction of his own! So over the course of several months, during our subsequent meetings at social events and chatting back and forth, my thoughts regarding the possibility of getting together with him progressed from “Forget it, girl; Way out of your league,” to “Oh wow, maybe not so impossible?” to “BIG Wow! It‘s ON!” And I was thrilled! But as our night out started to wind down and we headed back to his apartment, it started clanging in my head that I was Actually With “That Guy,” and how badly I didn’t want to fuck it up.
So there you have it. When “I Fucked David Wraith,” damn right, I was nervous! As a result, I had a hard time shutting my brain off — there were a few moments when try though I might, I couldn’t stop thinking, instead of just responding naturally.
One example: Some forcefulness during sex turns me on in a big way. I love to resist, and wrestle, and be overpowered. But when he gave me a good rough push onto the bed, I started that damn thinking… “If I scramble back up or roll away, will he know I‘m inviting him to wrestle me, or will he think I’m actually trying to get away?” I was worried about “getting it wrong,” so instead of just going with the moment and letting instinct take over, I stayed where I landed. I still don’t know for sure, but I know there’s a strong possibility that I blew a cue for something pretty exciting for both of us. That’s the sort of thing that kept this “first batch of pancakes” from turning out as perfectly delicious as I know it could be. But the recipe is still damn good.
In spite of my personal glitches here and there, we enjoyed each other very much. Our bodies fit together in a way that felt wonderful to me. David was a generous, exciting lover, and we had very good, satisfying sex.
What? I’m sorry, you wanted gory details? I tried to talk myself into some, believe me! But as much as I wish I could go there, I guess that‘s why I‘m not a sex blogger…
… Ok, fine! At one point, he pinned me down and scratched “DW” into the back of my shoulder with a blade. That’s a hot detail a girl won’t forget any time soon, and still gives me delicious shivers when I think about it. And now I bet you won’t forget it either 😉
Bottom line: I’m very glad we did it. Thinking about it makes me feel very good, and I’d do it again in a heartbeat. And it would undoubtedly get better.