A Conversation with the Ladies of the House of J Femdom Collective


When I arrive at the downtown St. Louis loft building that houses the Loft of Sin, the home to the House of J Femdom collective, I’m met by a very polite young person who escorts me to the elevator and up to the dungeon. As a submissive, I’m always a little nervous meeting dominants for the first time, especially in their own dungeons. This day I was meeting three. All I knew about the leaders of the House of J was what I read on their website and their Fetlife profiles, all full of the myth-making and self-aggrandizement that’s common in the BDSM world. I was wondering how they would come off in person. Would they be in character?

There was a certain regality about the way the three women were sprawled across couches wearing various combinations of lingerie and fetish wear [they were dressed for a photo shoot taking place after our interview], but they were refreshingly down to earth and approachable.

Sure, there was someone tying themself into a self-suspension rig to my right, and a few feet in front of me there was someone in a full latex face-mask and a black French maid’s uniform who remained as silent and still as a Buckingham Palace guard for the length of the interview. You know, the sort of things that might have shook up a less experienced reporter, but this was not my first rodeo.

Put a [metaphorical] pin in our friend in the French maid’s outfit. They’ll be mentioned again later.

The House of J Femdom Collective was established in early 2019 when two frustrated dominants who had just quit their jobs started commiserating. After sharing their frustrations, Lady Jaye and Mistress Jai decided to join forces and form a house together. Given the similarity of their names, they settled on the “House of J.” The two felt they needed a third mistress to round out their collective. Around this time, Lady Jaye was hosting a munch as the then leader of the St. Louis chapter of Club Fem. She was contacted by a local dom who asked if she could bring her slave to the munch… on a leash. And that’s how Lady Domina was invited to join the House of J.

Each took on a new moniker befitting their new role in the House of J, with Lady Jaye becoming “The Headmistress,”  Lady Domina becoming “The Empress,” and Mistress Jai becoming “The Countess.” [I was tempted to refer to them simply as, “Headmistress,” “Empress,” and “Countess,” but Mistress Jai informed me, it’s “The Headmistress,” “The Empress,” and “The Countess,” in the same way, that Dwayne Johnson is “The Rock.” It’s like “A Tribe Called Quest,” you say the whole thing.]

David Wraith: How did you know you had these dominant tendencies?

The Headmistress: One of my very first memories as a child is my mother, God bless her, she tried very hard to control my wilder urges. One of the ways she did that was, she made it so that I could only watch PBS. I never even knew that there were other channels. And there was this religious-ish show about animals telling proverbs and different myths and stories. And there was a story of Prometheus; animated. And I just remember the image of cartoon, shirtless Prometheus chained in the mountain, bleeding and screaming as the bird is eating him. And I went into my room and I took my life-sized Raggedy Andy doll and I tied him to my bed and I took a paper airplane and I was like [mimes the airplane attacking Raggedy Andy] and then when I was a little bit older, like in school, I would just chase down the older kids and convinced a bunch of other kids to help me chase them down and tie them to trees.

Of the three of you, who’s the most sadistic?

The Countess: I just really enjoy watching someone get that adrenaline and that fear that comes with being a masochist. All that they’re experiencing turns me on. I love that! It’s pretty intimate for me, it’s an intimate connection with that person because here I am with my sadistic fantasies and then they’re living out their masochistic fantasies and I just love it! The louder they scream, the hotter it gets!


Okay, so the Countess is the sadist of the group, what are your other specialties?

The Empress: I’m a sensualist. I just like watching their facial expressions, how their body shakes when I touch them. I like the feel of how they shiver when my hand touches them when they’re cold. I just like the look on their face, because there’s that one moment when the submissive’s face changes. They just get that spark of bliss for that one moment and you can catch that. And that’s what I really look for.

As female dominants, do you consider yourselves feminists and, if so, how does being a femdom dovetail with being a feminist?

The Countess: It feels like the ultimate form of empowerment for me.

The Headmistress: Becoming a feminist was a stepping stone for me to becoming a dominatrix. I had this realization at 14 or 15 that “I want to be a dominatrix,”  but had I not put the work in to become a feminist first, I would have never had the confidence in myself to actually do it.

The Empress: People take the word “feminism” like it’s a curse. They have a different concept of it now than what it should be. I think being a feminist is just accepting everyone. It’s not about overpowering men… which is fun and we should! Being a feminist is just being more accepting. When you say you’re not a feminist, to me, it’s just saying you just don’t accept everyone. It’s about equalism. But… men should still bow.

What advice do you have for other women who want to be professional or lifestyle dominants?  

The Headmistress: If you’re a femdom and you’re interested in meeting other femdoms, reach out to us. I get tons of messages from women who say, “Hey, I want to be a femdom,” for whatever reason, whether they want to be a pro-dom or they just want to learn to spank their husbands. The community of women and female empowerment is very important. And that’s what I think I like the most about our group and the Loft of Sin is that it’s very empowering, for women, specifically. I mean, I think it’s empowering for guys too. I always tell people that want to become femdoms, you don’t have to be that dominatrix in the porno. Be the femdom that you already are, work on her and make her better. She’s already inside of you. You just have to concentrate on her.

And then, in perhaps the most St. Louis moment I’ve had in 2019, our interview was interrupted by the sound of gunshots, followed by the sound of people screaming, followed by the sound of sirens.

My first thought was, I hope no one was hurt. I hoped no one was hurt, because I hoped no one was hurt, but also, I hoped no one was hurt because I didn’t want a recorded conversation between me and three femdoms, recorded in an S&M dungeon, to become subpoenable evidence, like the  Skype call between a guy and his girlfriend that accidentally recorded the shooting of Michael Brown Jr. and made the national news.

Oh, and during the gunfire and ensuing chaos, our friend in the full latex face-mask and French maid’s uniform didn’t say a word and didn’t move an inch.

If you’re interested in becoming a femdom, meeting other femdoms, or enhancing your skills as a dominatrix, the Ladies of the House of J are offering The Femdom Academy, from August 9th – 11th. Check their website for details: https://houseofjfemdom.com/femdom-academy