This time several years ago, I was running around U-City thrift stores looking for the perfect suit, shirt and hat. Missouri Council for the Blind came through, as it so often does, and I got a shirt for a surprisingly good price at Rag-A-Rama. My date loaned me his hat. There was a lot of […]
Author Archives: Anna
Women and Casual Sex Pt. 2: Respecting Conscious Choices
A lot gets made of women having casual sex. Often it’s assumed that women don’t really want to have casual sex, but engage in it as a (misguided) strategy to start something long term.But Helen Fisher quote a study that asked 515 people why they went into a hookup, 50 percent of women and 52 […]
Women and Casual Sex, Pt. 1: Self-Discovery Through Yahoo! Profiles
While here in Germany I am pretty much celibate. That’s for a few reasons, all of which are boring, but one of them is that I’m not that interested in casual sex. This surprises me. I like casual sex. And I have had very good experiences with it. Not only has it not been damaging […]
Tales of the City with the Queer Book Club
This is a guest post by Anita Fitzwater. UPDATE: The book club meeting has been moved from Shameless Grounds to Mokabe’s. Check below for the time, date, and new location! Who the hell am I? Well, I’m someone who’s been involved with the Bisexual Alliance of St. Louis (BASL) for the past two years or so […]
The Vasectomy Dialogues: Justin’s Story
Justin (and yes, that his real name), is a local 30-something guy, who’s stays pretty involved in the polyamory and sexpositive communities. If you come to one of our events, you just might see him around. His openess about his experience has provided a meaningful close to our three-part Vasectomy Dialogues series. Settling down with […]
The Vasectomy Dialogues: Chatting with Michael
Recently, I was able to catch up with Michael and he was kind enough to be open about how he made the decision to get a vasectomy and his thoughts on the experience. He’s 38, self-employed and living in St. Louis. He got his vasectomy in Fall 2009 at Planned Parenthood’s North County location. Q:Would […]
Is PIV the New Oral?
by Anna In days of yore, when reproduction and male orgasm were the primary goals of heterosexual sex, ‘the main event’ was the penis moving in and out of the vagina. Indeed, even today what most people mean when they say ‘sex’ is penetration (of a penis, into a vagina). That’s problematic in so many […]
Audio Erotica
As promised in my review of sexaudia.com, I’m returning to their selection of sexy audio story providers. At Nobilis Erotica, you find a collection of podcasts with stories that lean heavily in the direction of sci-fi and fantasy. But that is where the commonalities stop. The stories present all kinds of scenarios and run the […]
Normal Bodies?
by Anna During puberty, one of the big questions people ask themselves is: is my body normal? That question often continues into adulthood. That’s no surprise, especially in cultures that place a premium on ‘normal’ physicality and sexuality, but that represent only a narrow range of variation within this normality. Add to that few natural […]
The Bi-deology Project
The Bi-deology Project came across my radar immediately after Christmas when I was decompressing from a stressful family holiday by catching up on sex blog reading. I found Twanna Hines’ column on non-black men dating black women and wove my way from link to link to the Bi-deology Project, a joint video project that she […]
Vanilla Whipped up Right
by Anna One criticism of the sex positive movement is that along with setting up the norm that people should be having sex, and that sex should be relatively unproblematic, it also, in an effort to be ‘pro-kink’ tends to set up the expectation that everyone has some kind of fetish, or at least a […]
No, No, I Am Indeed Laughing at You
by Anna Karl: Not funny ‘ha-ha’, funny queer. Vaughan Cunningham: Well that’s a very offensive way to put it. You shouldn’t say that. You were taught that, weren’t you? -Slingblade (1996) One of the ways in which alternative sexual practices get marginalized is to make them the butt of jokes, to create the kind of […]